Personal Safety for Women
by Diana Rathborne
We all take measures to assure our personal safety on a daily
basis. Most of us wear our seat belts, lock our car doors,
lock our house, dress for inclement weather, wear shoes that
will be appropriate to our environment, and have fire extinguishers
in our homes. We all know the difference between uncomfortable
and unsafe when it comes to our footwear, and don’t
wear spiked heels on ice, sandals in the snow, snow boots
on the beach, or go barefoot in a parking lot. We have seen
numerous news programs on missing children, battered wives,
serial rapists and murderers and we’ve watched many
dramas about the same. As a result, we are often afraid of
a myriad of threats to our person. Some are realistic and
some are not.
The good news is that we can change our lifestyle to make
ourselves safer and less likely to be the victim of personal
violence. We can become a “hard target” by first
eliminating the risky behaviours and unsafe areas in our lives,
and then by getting self-defence training.
The first action is to take a good, honest look at your lifestyle.
The big areas to assess are your home and work environments.
How can you get between them and your personal socialising
habits with both strangers and people with whom you are familiar?
Some brief questions to ask yourself are:
1. Do you have anyone in your life who is a threat to you?
(If the answer is yes, go to the authorities and a women’s
crisis organization and get help TODAY!)
2. Do you look like a “profitable” target? (Do
you carry easily removable belongings or items of obvious
wealth?)
3. Could you quickly get out of your home and your workplace
in an emergency?
4. Do you keep a full, or mostly full, tank of petrol in your
car?
5. Do you drink too much or use drugs? (If the answer is yes,
do you have friends who will look out for you and help you
“stay safe”?)
6. Do you park your car in a safe place? (A well lit spot
near an exit is best.)
7. If someone makes you uncomfortable, do you move/stay from
him?
8. Do you have the ability to physically defend yourself if
necessary? (There are a number of books and videos on the
market that can help you assess your lifestyle and any inherent
risks in it. I've listed a few at the end of this article)
We all know that “we should” go to a class and
get self-defence training, but many of us only do it after
something happens to us, a friend, family member, or something
appears on the local news. We want to believe that a martial
arts aerobics class will give us self-defence skills, and
that one strike will do the trick. The facts are, unless you
get lucky, one shot probably won’t do the trick, and
an aerobics class will not give you self-defence skills. (An
aerobics class will help you get in shape to run away, which
is essential.) While the topic of self-defence training is
uncomfortable, and many of us have chosen to do anything else
instead, it is one of the best things you can do for your
mental and physical health.
If taking a self-defence class is too intimidating for you,
try taking a martial arts class first. If even that is too
much, take a class on assertiveness. Learn to say “NO.”
Even something as simple as firmly saying, “No, thank
you” to an unwanted drink, or, “I’m sorry
I can’t help you” to a stranger asking for help,
are huge steps toward your personal safety. Learning self-defence
will free your mind and your life from the fear of physical
attack by preparing you to deal with it. It will not make
you more masculine. It won’t make you paranoid, and
it definitely won’t discourage you from doing what you
like to do (unless drinking until unconscious in an unfamiliar,
all male environment is on your list). It will not create
a situation where you need to defend your life. Living with
the fear of personal physical violence is unproductive and
time consuming. Learn to defend yourself, and you may make
new friends, boost your confidence, and find a new freedom
in your life.
What to look for in a self-defence class
If you want to take a self-defence class, look for a course
that emphasizes the following:
1. Awareness and avoidance: The emphasis should be on behaviours
and sills that enable you to avoid any situation that calls
for you to defend yourself. The importance of increasing your
awareness of what goes on around you cannot be overstated.
Once you know what is going on around you, can you identify
“danger signs”? Danger signs fall into two broad
categories: environmental and human. An example of an environmental
danger sign would be any dark, isolated place with which you’re
unfamiliar. “Human” danger signs are mainly behavioral:
a targeting glance, a stare, gestures, body language, verbal
harassment, or people in a group. Remember, the goal of any
self-defence course is to help you avoid risky situations.
It is not to put you into situations so that you can fight
your way out of them.
2. Simple skill set: the class should teach skills that anyone
can do. The curriculum should be simple and effective. A spinning
heel hook kick to the head takes too much repetition, timing,
and leaves you with only one leg on the ground for a long
time. An eye jab is quick, direct, towards a vulnerable target,
and enables either follow-up or escape. A reverse punch to
the solar plexus is hard to land and may not cause enough
damage to allow you to either leave or follow up. A solid
slap to the ear or groin may open up other target areas for
follow-up and/or escape. Your follow-up strikes should be
able to make someone unconscious in a short time. Evaluate
the mechanics and the target area of the skills taught to
see if they meet these criteria.
3. Body, mind and mind-set: the class should teach you to
use your voice, your mind, and your body. Your body is your
most effective weapon, and it should be able to deliver a
forceful offense. Your mind should be able to command your
body to keep going while constantly looking for an avenue
of escape. The focus of you going home – no matter what
you have to do – is essential. The class should help
you create and install the mind-set that you are going to
go berserk on an attacker in a focused, forceful way and continue
until you can go home.
4. Pressure testing the skills: The class should provide
you with an opportunity to try the skills safely “under
pressure.” The pressure can be created in a number of
ways: a verbal barrage: (envision military basic training),
a physical assault (being pushed, slapped, attacked by someone
padded), peer pressure (the entire class watches while you
attempt the techniques) or exhaustion (sprint, kick, push-ups,
etc. before having to do the skills required). Obviously,
look for a class that will be in your comfort zone. If you
know that you are afraid to leave your house, don’t
like strangers and don’t do much physical exercise,
the physical assault or verbal barrage may not be the “pressure
testing” method for you.
5. No weapons or “one shot” solutions: Be wary
of any class that gives you a one-strike answer, or advocates
carrying a weapon. If you are going to carry a weapon for
self-defence, you need to do a lot of training. If it takes
you more than 3 seconds to get it out and usable, it will
be useless to you. Research the legal ramifications of using
your weapon in self-defence and then find a certified trainer
and go through their beginner’s course and if you don’t
think you will do the training necessary, DO NOT carry a weapon
for self-defence. Practice what you learned and remember that
if you carry a weapon, there is always the possibility that
an attacker could take it and use it against you. Do some
soul searching on the nature of using a weapon and if you
think that you won’t use it, then DO NOT carry it.
6. Your instructor should have credentials: Ensure your intructor
is qualified in self-defence training, not just aerobics,
personal training, or the martial arts. All of those areas
are a part of self-defence training and skills, but the nature
of self-defence is that a smaller, weaker person can use the
skills quickly and effectively in a short period of time.
Your instructor should be able to work with women, children,
and the elderly, as well as the very fit professional athlete
or solider.
Self-defence is an enormous concern for everyone. For women,
self-defence is especially worrisome. If you haven’t
taken a class, go. If you have taken a self-defence course,
encourage your friends who haven’t. For the men reading
this article, I hope it motivates you to get your female friends
and family to go to a class. If you are teaching women’s
self-defence, I hope this article helps you to evaluate your
curriculum and approach, to ensure it is everything you would
like it to be. Remember the best self-defence training should
enable you to AVOID ever needing to use your physical skills.
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